Present: Jon P, Rob E, Jim and Joe B

After last week’s disappointing discovery that Loper was sumped and the ensuing swift exit to the pub with our tails between our legs, Rob and I vowed to return, putting our bravest faces on to swim through. We met Jim and Jon in the car park, who were due to look around some of the nicer parts of Cussey. Jon and Rob were busy putting a wager on whether Loper would actually be sumped - Jon bet Rob a quid it wouldn’t…

Rob and I arrived in Inglorious Bastards chamber giddy with excitement and ready to find whether Rob was £1 worse off. Loper has opened out slightly now with many a trip being made through the connection - regardless, it is still a bit of a squeeze to get through. We were dubious about heading through with any extra baggage to get caught while we were underwater, so Rob devised a plan to clip the Disto pelicase to a kneepad round his ankle as a kind of quick-release system. Rob headed first into Loper to check it out. 

Moments later, I could hear cussing and cries of, “it’s drafting!” Bad luck, pal. It seemed as though the water had dropped a couple of inches in the week since our last trip, which left a small airspace. Unfortunately, by the time you’re lying in the water, this was no longer the case. Rob sloshed his way to the last airbell, calmed his breathing down, and took the plunge through the body-length squeeze. I sat there in quiet anticipation as I listened to Rob bubbling and thrashing his way through, and finally heard an excited yell from the other side. 

Now it was my turn to head through. Rob managed to wedge himself in the restricted passage on the other side so that he could attempt to film me as I emerged. He called through to let me know he was ready. I lay in the muddy pool, slithered my way to the airbell, took a couple of deep breaths, wondered what I had done wrong to end up here, before ducking into the water. Unfortunately, at this point, I completely forgot what size the passage was and didn’t turn my head to fit, managing to wedge my helmet against the floor and roof - not ideal. Luckily it’s quite soft mud and after what seemed like an eternity, I managed to force my helmet to the side and drag myself through. The results of Rob’s filming efforts are absolutely hilarious.

Click here to see the result

Once we’d both managed to stop laughing, we carried on down the bendy ladder and headed towards the dig. The Wet West passage leading up to Vulgarious had been slowly filling up with the sludge we were dumping, but after a few weeks of rain it did seem to have cleared slightly, or at least got rid of the finer silt. In Vulgarious the primary objective was to get a decent survey so we could be a little clearer about where we were actually headed. I went first and lay in the slop and, for want of anything else vaguely solid, Rob used my feet as transient survey stations. I lay still while he wriggled towards me trying to keep the Disto dry. I was just glad to be of some use! 

Joe at the breakthrough point into the chamber

The recent rainfall had caused the walls to start collapsing into the passage as the water carved its way though. This had happened previously, so it was to be expected and we could still just about squeeze past. Once we were through to the newly-discovered chamber, at the current extent, we realised that in our excitement we’d forgotten to grab the hammer and crowbar from the Wet West on the way though. Rob continued to survey the chamber while I set off to go and collect them. 

Once I’d returned, we started to clear the channel in the floor to further lower the water level in the low-level continuation. This was reasonably successful, and we managed to clear some of the smaller boulders out of the way and dig a slot for the water to travel in. Unfortunately, some of the boulders were much larger than we could realistically tackle with a hammer. In any case, we managed to lower the water about another couple of inches. This just about allowed you to lie flat out and start to clear some of the slop out, albeit with one eye in the water and trying desperately not to snort water up your nose - very pleasant. I managed to make about a foot of progress like this, which just about allowed a view onwards round the corner. By this point I was getting a bit exhausted and so Rob went for a quick poke. He managed to get a better view and see that the passage appeared to be ascending slightly, which is good news. 

It looks better than it is

Rob was off on holiday the following week, so we decided it would probably be ideal if we had more rain to help clear it out, and then we could hopefully return when the water is lower (cue biblical flooding, thanks Eunice). Feeling slightly more optimistic than we had coming into the trip, we decided it was probably time we should make our way out.

A swift escape out of Cussey and we reached the entrance pitch just in time to find Jon and Jim about to prussik out. They’d managed to make it to the top of NCA but the awkward squeeze barred any further progress. They’d then had a go at the other side through Coconut Airways, only to be once again halted by a tighter section, this time the Shattered Dreams squeeze. Jim was threatening to return with a hammer to see if he could force his way through. He also floated being lowered down head first because his “fish scales”(?!) would make it easier that way. Probably best not…

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