Team: Ben S, Jon P, Luke C, Sam P and Jim T

I was beyond excited about this trip. a couple of weeks ago I messaged Rob to inform him I had Norovirus, I was willing to take the risk of wearing a wetsuit despite getting a 3 second toilet warning; but understandably Rob didn't want to experience the purge and so I bowed out. That evening i got the message that they had broken through to SMMC. absolutely gutted.

So tonight Jon said he wanted to go and have a play with his camera in the new bit and I couldn't wait. pulling up in the car park I met Jim and Sam (who is essentially Jon with less hair) Their plan was to find the Inglorius pitch as they had missed it on their last trip. That in its own right is worth visiting because the chamber is a complete change of character to the rest of the cave.

Luke, Jon and I geared up. Luke had a brand new warmbac wetsuit. I could have cried for him there and then. I feel this trip definitely needs a wetsuit, but given how tight and rough in sections the cave is, you can just hear it rubbing and snagging. Joe once said every time he snags his wetsuit he thinks "there's another tenner gone"

I have been in cussey a number of times now and learning its nuances well so within no time at all the 3 of us were leaving our SRT kit on the big boulder in Inglorious and headed for Loper Lust. 

Good news, it was not sumped, the syphon had done its job and loper had not refilled. much to Jon's disgust however, the remaining water had created a mud soup. For those of you not in health care, I will refer you to the Bristol Stool Chart. This muddy tube was half filled with Type 7. Rob had free dived this a number of times and it was something I was curious to know if i could do, and so as i entered the slop I held my breath and dipped half my face in as i negotiated the lowering ceiling and popped up into the  first airbell. Ah that wasnt so far. i did the same again to the second air bell. again short and sweet. the third smaller airbell swiftly followed and you had to be on the right hand side for the air space. so far i felt like i could free dive this if it were to sump. the final section was the longest bit of breath holding and as you go up hill i wasnt sure when to start breathing again as wasnt sure how high the water would be. I suspect its one of those free dives thats not as bad at you think it will be, however there are plenty of places to get it wrong. maybe ill give it a go one day.

Anyway, we are all through and swiftly down the ladder and yomping to Vulgarious. The last time i was here we spent around 90 mins hauling drag trays back and forth. making good progress but rob felt like there was still plenty to do then things seemed to progress rapidly from there as whilst the digging still sounded challenging, there were areas to stack spoil and so no more hauling. Jon warned us that there was one commiting and claustrophobic section halfway down vulgarious but that we shouldnt worry. 

The poo theme is entirely relevant here as the mud is just on another level of slop. we crawled down vulgarious until we reached beyond For Buck's Sake, the section Jon had warned us about. i slid into the tube after Jon. This was brilliant. its a human sized tube, you cant really look up properly as your helmet hits the roof. the floor is soft and progress isnt the easiest. i had both arms out in front of me. your arms arent entirely useless here, but they arent the greatest of help either due to the confines. i would dig my toes in and push to make progress, but the mud would also grab your wellies and try to suck them off. I actually loved it. i seem to have some perverse love for situations like this. this section takes a good 5 or so minutes. we eventually pop out into a rift.  

Wow, how can something so big suddenly appear after flatout crawling. Jon again warned us not to die here and so as i attempted not to trust my life to the worlds slippiest but cruical stemple i carefully climbed down and headed to the breakthrough point. 

Jon told luke and I how he and Rob nearly gave up the other night due to the conditions and that they felt they had needed to drain the duck. but perseverance or stubborness payed dividends for them, and so here i was. i had to take my helmet off because my spare light was once again pushing my face into the water and trying to drown me. Another fun and commiting section though which was giving me the gentlemans fizz.

And then just like that we were into something big, very big. jon had gone ahead so make sure all was ok as i bought his camera gear through. Luke and I on all fours crawling along in elbow deep gloop that just gave me flash backs to enemas gone wrong. less than an hour from the surface we were stood by a pool below sump 2. Jon was laughing at the state of Luke and I and said that we needed a wash before any pics could occur. so we both got in to the pool. "some people pay good money for this" Luke said as we lay there with our mud wrap on.

We poked around sump 2 to see the progress so far. i hope this is passable one day as i cant wait to see what is beyond it. I followed the pristine and large streamway downstream until Jon set his gear down and exclaimed that this was the picture spot. I practiced my best blue steel face as Luke was tasked with flash gun duty and the poor guy spent an age focusing on my bum. 

We then headed further downstream as Jon was keen to show us a special shell bed. the streamway gets smaller and smaller until you are on hands and knees and here i was cursing the inbuilt knee pads on my wetsuit because they were nothing more than a thin layer of rubber. Eventually the solid rock roof parted, literally, to be come a shell bed and the further we got the better it got. some of the shells were as big as tennis balls. we stopped just short of the sump for some pics. it felt really dark and remote here. only a handful of humans have visited this spot, and that felt very special to be a part of. pics done attention was drawn to closing time at the pub and so we headed out, stopping to investigate some leads on route. 

I'm not a fan of prussiking and so it pleases me that i only have to do so on Inglorious, as i free climb the other two pitches and back out into the warm night air. blimey, last time it was still freezing and we were huddled in my van for warmth. we were in a bit or a state for the pub and so cracked open the post cave drinks and chilled in the car park. this trip just keeps getting better and better. certainly one for collectors. would it go in the infamous black book? i dont know the criteria, but its a dam fine trip, but not for the feint hearted.

Luke after his enema, by JonP

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