Wednesday night, and as per my request, we were going down Winnats Head Cave. Me (Josh), Jon, Jim, Chris and Ben made it 5 of us. Stripping down amidst the cold wind on top of Winnats Pass made me actually want to be inside the cave. Since the last time I had managed to get myself some proper gear. No more jogging bottoms, trainers, and temu oversuits for me. Let's just hope the wife doesn't find out how much proper gear actually costs… who needs a house deposit anyway?
After a short run back to the car to retrieve my dropped glove, we made our way to the entrance, and I was soon looking at the uninviting downwards crawl towards the first chamber. After a few minutes of digging out the boulders, I went headfirst into the flat-out crawl, which was cosy, but no serious challenge, and before long, we reached the first chamber.
From there, a narrow slot dropped us into the main chamber. We had a brief look into a few side holes before committing to the first boulder choke, which was exactly as confusing as expected: a pile of large boulders with small, unhelpful gaps between them. This eventually led to the Ball Breaker, a small hole between two boulders that you slide down. The name is fairly self-explanatory, but for those unaware, due to its shape it can be unaccommodating towards the crown jewels. This of course is not an issue for Jon, who went first and passed through without any difficulty. Ben sensibly chose a smaller, alternative hole.
I followed and arrived in a small chamber below. Above us, Chris and Jim had a harder time. Several attempts ended with the rock catching painfully under their ribs, and on more than one occasion, they had to be pushed back up by their feet. With the added knowledge that the way out would be even worse, and that more tight squeezes lay ahead, they made the sensible decision to turn back and wait in the car.
Jim took away an important lesson from the evening: you can either deadlift 200 kg or fit through tight squeezes, but not both. In hindsight, if we had chosen to do this cave before Christmas, they may have made it through. A lesson for next time.
Down to three, me, Ben, and Jon carried on. After a short traverse over a small drop, we emerged into Fox’s Chamber, a large, muddy room with a rope swing hanging in the middle. The thick mud was unfortunate, but the swing and large size made up for it. Several holes led out of the far end, and without being entirely sure which was correct, but knowing that all roads lead to the Winnats Head Cave Terminal Sump, we picked one and continued into the second boulder choke.
More squeezes followed, along with some awkward clambering, before we reached the Vertical Vice, now fitted with some neat scaffolding. The vice itself is a 3m long narrow hole and requires you to turn your head to the side to fit through. Getting down this is no issue; getting up is a different story. On the last squeeze you have to fling your feet forward over another small drop like you're playing limbo, then a clamber down brings you into the sump chamber. A large still clear green pool of water, with a small beach of rocks and boulders. The pool looks cold but tempting enough that I made a mental note to return one day with a wetsuit for a pool party.
It was at this point that Jon pointed out the Sewer to me, a tight, wet, muddy, flat-out crawl, and said, “Off you go then.” When I asked why the others weren’t joining me, Jon replied that he didn’t fancy the cold water and mud. From that moment, I made an internal vow never to forget my humble beginnings and never to become a cave snob who turns his nose up at a bit of water.
Anyway, off I went. The Sewer starts with a flat-out squeeze before forcing you onto your side for the next section. This leads to the final challenge: a small, square tunnel that has to be done flat out, superman style to get your collarbone through. I was having trouble transitioning from my side onto my front, thanks to an awkwardly placed calcite outcrop that I couldn’t fit my hips through.
As this took longer than expected, Jon, who, of course, wasn’t willing to wait around in the cold, began to pipe up, heckling at me from the far end of the Sewer. It seemed logical to me to roll onto my back to get through, but Jon warned me about the cold water and pointed out that “eVeRyOnE dOeS iT oN tHeIr fRoNt.” After a few unsuccessful attempts, I lost patience and politely suggested that if it was so easy, he was welcome to demonstrate.
To be fair to him, Jon immediately went into the Sewer and sailed through the squeeze with minimal resistance, firmly putting me in my place. Being the good Eldon Pothole Club apprentice that I am, I carefully observed his technique. It turns out the trick is to lift your hips over the obstruction in something resembling a downward-dog yoga pose before committing to the tunnel. This unfortunately cannot be unseen.
At this point, I decided to preserve the small amount of dignity I had left by sticking to my original plan and rolling onto my back instead. This worked perfectly despite the previous advice and got me through without any issues. My reward was a small, muddy chamber with some ropes heading up a rift. Ben soon shuffled through to join us with no issue.
Jon had a brief trip to the “piss hole”, not sure why, then we retreated back through the Sewer without incident and started the journey out. It was here that I was reminded that going up is significantly harder than going down, especially when your arms are already fatigued from an epic gym session earlier that day. I really need to stop doing that on the same day as caving. Progress became slow and steady, with me moving at roughly snail's pace through the squeezes.
Highlights on the way out included Ben finding two bats (hibernation status TBD after the announcement, “I’VE FOUND A BAT”), me requiring a foot-up at the Vertical Vice after fully admitting defeat, and yet another failed photo shoot by Jon, who commented that he might as well have brought a bag of rocks instead of a camera.
Eventually, we emerged without further drama. The walk back to the car was only interrupted by me completely decking it on the ice. We were then reunited with the part-timers, who had been waiting comfortably in their heated car. After getting changed, we headed to the Peak Hotel to complain about rising house prices and fantasise about how if only finding new cave in the Peaks was as easy as it is in the Dales.
All in all, it was a good laugh and well worth the trip. Next time, I’m hoping to test out my second-hand, seven-year-old SRT kit for the first time. Wish me luck.